Why it’s Important to Learn to Forgive Yourself

 I learned early on that shame is one of the biggest confidence busters. Being ashamed of something we think we are or did is crippling. The weight of guilt and condemnation is oppressive, and it zaps any confidence we had. It makes it nearly impossible to have healthy relationships because we mask who we really are and are susceptible to being taken advantage of and manipulated. 

Why? 

Because shame makes us feel

• Unworthy
• Sad
• Unlovable
• Overwhelmed
• Guilty

This state of being creates chaos in our minds and tells us we deserve less than we hope for. Shame whispers that we are not enough, can’t be forgiven, and don’t deserve love. That is a dangerous place to be.

The antidote is forgiveness. 

Learning to forgive yourself is a great act of self-love. Forgiveness opens the way for shame to leave. Forgiveness accepts that bad things happen whether meant for harm or by accident and that all things have room for grace. Here are some tips that will encourage you to forgive yourself.

Forgiving yourself means you can:

Forgive others- In all things, we can’t give away what we don’t possess. Learning to forgive yourself creates the ability for you to forgive others. You've heard it before: Love your neighbor as you do yourself.

Move on- Forgiving yourself lets you move on and build a great life from the new place of love and acceptance. In my Divorce Care 101 course, I call it Moving on and Moving Forward...you take all that you've learned and continue your journey. 

Grow your character- Just as forgiving someone else doesn’t justify what happened, forgiving yourself makes space for the imperfection to be a reminder of your human side. You can build your character by overcoming your setback through forgiveness. Learn from the experience.

Share your new tool- Your forgiveness becomes a tool you can share with your family and others who need to learn how to forgive themselves. You can lead by example and help pave the way for others. Modeling behaviors for others helps you share by example without being preachy or bossy.

Start to dream again- Breaking free from shame makes it possible to start to dream again and let the possibilities unfold. You are meant to live your best life...an Intentional Life. For many, they need to reconnect with their heart's desire. (Let A Pilgrimage to Self Lifestyle Coaching Membership help you discover, design, and develop an Intentional Life of YOUR dreams!)

Experience the fullness of emotions- Being under condemnation makes it very hard to experience co-concurring emotions. Joy takes a back seat to shame. Forgiveness puts joy and other similar emotions back in the driver’s seat.

Forgiveness eradicates shame. Freeing yourself from shame looks like:

• Freedom to try new things
• Restoration from pain
• A bright new future
• Resolution
• Compassion and grace
• Living an Intentional Life

Forgiving yourself is powerful. It helps you gain courage and confidence by doing something very difficult that takes great character and self-love to achieve. Move towards forgiving yourself so you can live your best life.

Until next time...

Cheers!

Lisa