How Small Things Can Really Build Up in Relationships

Do you leave the toilet lid open all the time? Are you constantly putting the empty milk carton back in the fridge? Do you just drop your dirty laundry on the floor? What irks you?

This is the sort of thing that most of us tend to think of as being no big deal. In fact, many of us even find it amusing as one of those age-old arguments that couples have. It's practically inevitable, it's no big deal… it's funny.

Except if you value your relationship and if you want it to work as well as it possibly can then it actually isn't funny at all. In fact, these small niggles can add up to become something very serious in even the most stable relationship. And it's all to do with kaizen.

The Build Up

Kaizen teaches us how making small little changes can make a huge impact on us in the long term. Often this is used to demonstrate how saving a small amount of money can add up to a great trust fund, or how a slowly loading laptop can cost a company thousands.

But it's also true in relationships. If every time that you see your partner has left the lid open you feel a little bit irritated, then it won't really matter at first. But give it time and it will add up. On a particularly low ebb, you might then find that you snap and it comes out in a large fit of rage – along with all the other little things that they do. These small niggles can start off as cute or even amusing but over time they build resentment and actual rage.

The Solution

So what's the solution?

Part of the responsibility actually lies with the person who has the issue. If this is something that really bothers you then you mustn't just bury your feelings and allow them to fester. Instead, you need to get it out early so that it doesn't have time to grow into a monster.

Likewise, if you're someone who struggles with doing those things though, you should also recognize how much of an issue it can be and you should make an effort not to do it.

Communication and compromise are key to building a lasting and loving relationship. So, next time your partner does something that irks you...don't lash out; instead, try communicating. You could share your thoughts and feelings: "When you leave the lid up, I feel awkward when I need to use the toilet, and I feel it looks untidy."

But sometimes the answer is neither of these things. Sometimes the best solution is to find a win/win compromise that removes the problem altogether. For instance, if you argue about the toilet lid then why not have one of you go upstairs and the other downstairs? Communication and compromising in your relationship are essential.

Until next time...

Cheers!

Lisa

P.S. What irks you? Share in the comments or on our Facebook page: www.facebook.com/ahousewithfourrooms