Happiness: “...sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff.”
Happiness: “...sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff.”
In the movie, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Judi Dench's character, Evelyn, says,
“Nothing here has worked out quite as I expected."
Maggie Smith's character, Muriel, responds,
"Most things don't. But you know, sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff."
Brief but powerful, this short exchange tells us a lot about how to achieve happiness.
What comes to mind when you think of "happiness?" Does it mean joy or excitement? How about comfort or fulfillment or peace or being satisfied? How about feeling loved? Happiness means different things to different people, but we know it when we feel it.
One thing it must mean is loving and accepting ourselves for who we are. Yet, from an early age we all receive criticism from others. Often these people are simply trying to train us in how to live safely and well. Parents and teachers and society all have rules for our benefit; these rules can be interpreted as criticism even when they are positive, and we receive a great deal of negative criticism along the way as well.
We don't like criticism from others, but from a very early age we internalize it and begin to criticize ourselves. Studies have shown that as much as 87% of our self-talk is negative.
Because of this, our self-esteem is threatened from an early age. We want acceptance from others, but we don't even give it to ourselves. All the negative emotions and all the shades of insecurity (fear, anger, hate, jealousy, envy, depression, anxiety, and sadness) begin by the time we're toddlers. We can combine all this under the umbrella of unhappiness; unhappiness drains our energy, distracts us, and causes us to act in self-defeating ways.
Unhappiness doesn't have to be our fate. Our first step toward happiness requires that we confront and deal with our fears. Everyone has them – EVERYONE – fears are natural, but every – EVERYONE – can overcome them and make peace with them. Our second step toward happiness is to learn some techniques for positive self-talk and behavior.
Like anything else of value, happiness takes some work, but it can be achieved. It’s important that you first understand that happiness is an inside job; you can learn how to fight through fears and live peacefully with uncertainty, and second, how to think and act to facilitate happiness.
Until next time...
Lisa
P.S. Happiness is important...so much so, here’s another post that talks about the thoughts that can hinder your happiness https://www.lisamcgrath.me/blog/self-sabotaging-thoughts-that-hinder-happiness
The life philosophy of A House With Four Rooms suggests thinking of yourself as being four rooms: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual rooms. It advocates for doing something daily for your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.