Do You Resent Some Aspects of Your Childhood?

Many people have great childhood memories: playing ball in the fields, going to the pool to swim with friends or on a team. Some kids in your neighborhood had a paper route to earn some money, or maybe that kid was you. Summers were a time for relaxing and playing, and as much as we dreaded going to school, at least we got to hang out with our friends.

There may, however, be some experiences from your childhood that you’d just sooner forget. Perhaps you had a family member who wasn’t nice to you. Or, you were bullied as a child and were told to ignore it because it builds character or something like that.

I’ve been there.

These not-so-wonderful experiences can stick with us into adulthood. We may try to push them out, so we don’t remember. But, they can resurface when we least expect them to. When they do, they can sometimes hit us harder than we realize and cause us stress or even panic attacks.

Your kids may experience similar situations, and it brings back your memories of those times. Of course, as a parent, you may be able to help your kids divert the situation in a different way than it happened for you. Nonetheless, it’s still going to bring back those memories.

Some people can forget. That’s great for them. Others, cannot and they need a way to deal with it. There is no one-solution-fits-all, and everyone has to come up with ways to cope. For some, therapy could be the answer. For others, talking to family members and friends can be a great help. And for others, a personal coach can make the difference. If your kids are going through similar situations as you faced, it may be best to discuss it with them.

These situations are often why therapists try to get their patients to discuss their childhood situations. When these situations continue to fester within, the resentments build to the point where it affects the quality of life. Some people try to cope with substance abuse. This usually escalates the problem rather than deal with it.

Many of my private clients have experiences some type of trauma, and for many, it was during their childhood. Some come to me after they’ve tried therapy, and some are still in therapy. What we do together, is strategize, come up with techniques and procedures that move them forward. The idea is to move closer and closer to their personal and professional goals.

A general information article such as this cannot give any answers to these situations. If they become a problem for you, get the help you need. It’s likely that the further you suppress them, the less effective the help will become. Although, it’s never too late to find help when needed, even if you have let it go for a while.

Until next time...

Lisa

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