Holding Your Ground When You Want to Make a Fresh Start

 There have been so many times I've faced sabotage, including self-sabotage when it comes to making goals, living my dreams, and designing an Intentional Life. It took me quite a while to understand the role that boundaries play in my life. So be forewarned, making a fresh start makes perfect sense to you because you have been part of the process all along; however, those in your sphere of influence might be caught off guard or surprised by your revelations, and that can cause friction.

 Sometimes people are overt and vocal about their thoughts and feelings. Some are passive-aggressive saboteurs who aren’t upfront or honest. Both are dangerous to your esteem and your determination. It helps to be prepared and fortified against attack when you want a fresh start and you don’t have support.

 Here are some key concepts to study and use to hold your ground when you want to make a fresh start:

 Remember why you started- It is important to remember why you decided to make a fresh start... to REBOOT and begin again. Likely something happened to spark the desire for change. Try activities like journaling to help you go back and reflect on your earliest thoughts and feelings about the changes you want. Keep your focus on the health and benefits of the change, and don’t let anyone divert you from your goals.

 Learn the “yes and” model- The “yes and” model allows for two realities at the same time. It is entirely possible that what you want and what someone else wants can live in harmony. If your spouse is determined to keep some bad eating habits, you can agree to support their food choices and keep your new ones too.

 Your kids may be upset because you are taking time for yourself because they are used to having you spend time on them. You can agree that going to the gym and practicing self-care is a change for the kids and you are still going to keep attending to yourself...pursuing your goals. By validating the thoughts of those who feel upset or concerned, you can honor their feelings without taking on guilt that isn’t productive to your change. Guilt is too heavy to carry, so let it go.

 Not everyone will support you and that’s ok- Some people simply won’t be ok with your ideas and that is ok. If everyone were on the same wavelength with each other, life could be really boring. It is unrealistic to believe that everyone will embrace your ideas about a fresh start. Learning to live with the disappointment from others and keeping your focus is a maturity tool...it's putting the oxygen mask on you first so that you can be more available, happier, and achieving your goals.

 Some people need time to adjust- Sometimes people have an initial reaction because they are afraid of change. Let time go by and your efforts, your enthusiasm, and your success will likely change their minds and heart about your fresh start. Sometimes you just have to wait things out and people will come around. Your small steps can be simple changes that lead to radical results. Not only will you be more energized, but you'll also be modeling the importance of designing an Intentional Life by living yours.

A House With Four Rooms advocates for visiting your four rooms (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual rooms) each day. I have discovered that many of the ways I "air" out one room, actually "airs" out some of the others. Because of some health issues, I spend a lot of time in my physical room by working with my nutrition, exercise, and stress relief...I practice several relaxation techniques and have a daily meditation practice. Practicing self-love and self-care strategies allows me the clarity, wisdom, and peace to manage the other areas of my life.

 Remember, your fresh start is all about you. While it is always important to consider those closest to you when making changes and big decisions, ultimately the buck, the change, and the enthusiasm starts and ends with you. When others see you living an Intentional LIfe, they will emulate and follow your example to make a fresh start...they'll be anxious to REBOOT their goals and actively pursue their own dreams. Be strong...don’t let others knock you off your path. Hold your ground and get that fresh start!

If you do have family and friends ready for a Do-Over, invite them to join us...it's never too late for a REBOOT For A FRESH START!

Cheers!

Lisa