The excitement is building as my family prepares for the birth of my fourth grandchild. On a recent visit with my son, daughter-in-law, and grandson, we talked about the upcoming birth of their daughter and the 2nd birthday celebration for my grandson. My son’s family is multicultural; my Korean daughter-in-law teaches my grandson about his Korean culture through language, traditions, and food. This exposure to the world will shape his perspective on everything from relationships, self-esteem and self-confidence to how he will ultimately make decisions and form his opinions about life. The people, places, and events in one’s life, particularly in early childhood, are the foundation of teaching and learning that create core beliefs and fundamentally defines who we are and how we see ourselves. My grandson is fortunate to have this positive foundation in his life.

The way we see ourselves is connected to our core beliefs. When I examine belief systems, I look for patterns and try to make connections. Some beliefs that seem ingrained in us were developed from those early stages of life; we learned from the people and events that we were born into and each situation had lessons to teach us. Unfortunately, some of us are not as fortunate as my grandson. For example, my early years were spent in an environment that harbored ill-feelings brought on by verbal and physical abuse. I was often told that I wasn’t “good enough” or “capable” and the folks questioned whether I’d even graduate from high school. I decided early on that their words and speculation were not really mine to carry; I decided to work hard toward my goals to prove to them, and to myself, that I could achieve what I put effort into. It was at this time that my Pilgrimage to Self really began.

For many years I defined myself as wife, mother, teacher, and friend. In the busyness of life, I had forgotten and lost myself. Once I returned to my Pilgrimage to Self, I set out to discover “Who am I?” There are so many ways to identify and connect to who I am and who I want to be. For starters, from the lessons and experiences I have had, I developed boundaries around my path in life. These boundaries have not been set to contain me and stunt my intellectual, spiritual, physical, and mental growth, but they have been structured by fence posts carved with respect, for myself and others; they have been connected by faith, love, and desire. It is important to reflect on your core beliefs and if needed, reframe experiences and early learning in order to develop new beliefs that serve your life’s purpose. My journey is proof that paradigm shifts do exist and that we do indeed have the power to build the life we are meant to lead.

So my journey began with the realization that I am not defined by the words “not good enough” whether supplied by myself or others. My journey continues with the acceptance that I am not perfect, but I can strive for excellence in whatever areas of my life that I choose. This realization was made after many hard knocks, some stumbling, and an honest intention to prevail and succeed.

On my journey, I’ve also learned that I’m not in competition with anyone else; I shouldn’t compare myself to anyone else because my journey is my own. There can be many obstacles to overcome to get to and stay on the path, but I don’t have to be one of those obstacles. I also don’t have to invite obstacles onto my path, so I choose not to participate in gossip or with people that are quick to tear others down; it can be tough when people ask inappropriate questions or make judgemental comments with little or no genuine concern or feelings for you. We’ve all been there...when so called friends and family are busy sharing their personal thoughts and feelings about your private business with everyone and their brother. These experiences taught me that boundaries must be created to allow me to learn and grow into a better version of myself each day. So, rather than compare myself to others, I learn from them. When it comes to boundaries, I recognize that I’m not limited by others, the wrongful beliefs of others, or by the old faulty beliefs I developed about myself, the world, or my God from my early learning. I am free to create and live the extraordinary life I desire by practicing and living in the Truth. I am responsible for creating my world, and with this knowledge, I have developed personal Maps to enrich my life. I rely on my Maps to guide me, and when I need assistance in finding my way, I can refer to them and the paths that I’ve chosen.

The Maps I have developed coordinate to my four rooms. My Intellectual Map has paths that lead me to learning new things and developing my scope of knowledge. My Emotional Map allows me to rely on paths I’ve identified that help me cope and allow me to experience peace and serenity. My Physical Map is filled with paths and trails that provide wellness opportunities, and my Spirituality Map guides me with paths of prayer, meditation, spiritual readings and practices. My personal Maps influence the direction I choose to go each day, and if I get off track, I go right back to my Maps for guidance. I remain open to learning and growing, creating the extraordinary that I desire in everything I do and experience. I’ve heard people say that when faced with a health crisis, a rebirth of sorts happens, and I know this too is true of my own health crisis. After complications from multiple pulmonary emboli, open-heart surgery, and a blood disorder, I’m living my second chance. This second chance has renewed my faith in my daily practices, my personal planner and my Mapping system to help me air out my four rooms and create a balanced life filled with extraordinary experiences and people.

If you are interested in creating your own personal planner and Maps, stay tuned to future posts and workshops. But for now, know there are many ways to identify the paths that are right for you: begin by identifying what you want in your life, what brings you joy, what makes your heart sing, and what your extraordinary looks like. Once you have these ideas, you’ve identified areas to focus on for constructing your paths and creating your Maps.  

While I have you thinking, how about answering a few more questions? How would you define who you are? What are some of your core beliefs? How were these beliefs developed? It is important to reflect on this because your learning experiences influence the beliefs you have, and if your core beliefs do not serve you, it is time for a paradigm shift.

Now give some thought to these questions. What boundaries have you established? What expectations do you have for the way you treat people or how they treat you? What boundaries would you like to establish for all of your relationships with others? How about the relationship with yourself?

Another piece of this puzzle in developing personal Maps is understanding where you spend your time. It is important that you invest your time on the paths that serve you and lead you to your heart’s desire. This is the self-care part of the journey, and this all takes time and a commitment. Are you ready to start your own journey with a Pilgrimage to Self?

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Cheers!

Lisa